Whom Shall I Send?

I wrote this poem two weeks before the end of my mission. It is my witness of the reality of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

"Whom Shall I Send?"

My head was high, my smile proud

My heart was hard, my laughter loud.

I loved myself, and me alone

My brother lacked, I had a throne.

I saw him lonely, with a frown

To build me up, I tore him down.

I laughed and mocked his lonely stare

The pain I caused I did not care.

The praise of man, my only goal

Caused me to lie, destroyed my soul.

To change my ways, I had no thought

In my own eyes I had a lot.

I spent my life on useless things

I gave my all to worldly dreams.

Then came the day when all was lost

With nothing left I felt the cost.

The pain was great, my soul was racked

I lost my strength, my body slacked.

I fell upon my knees to pray

"Dear God" I said "take me away.

I see my sin, I cannot bear

To stand beneath thy piercing stare.

I never knew such dreadful pain

But this I know: I am to blame.

Take me now and seal my fate

I can't be saved, it is too late."

Then in my mind I saw a tree

With olive leaves, Gethsemane.

I saw a man on bended knee

His head hung low, I heard His plea:

"Thy will be done, not mine" He said

And then He fell, His body bled.

From every pour how great the pain!

I heard His voice, He called my name.

I looked and saw another tree

Up on a hill called Calvary.

I saw Him there up through the fog

The Son of Man, the Son of God.

The King of Kings, a crown of thorns

With nothing more was He adorned.

I looked at Him, He looked at me

And then to God, I heard His plea:

"It is now done, I've paid the cost

That this poor soul will not be lost.

I've done the work thou gavest me

Now take my spirit back to thee."

His head hung down and then He died

With nail-marked hands and wounded side.

Back on my knees I changed my plea:

"How could this all have been for me?

I am not worthy of thy love

Thou art so great, the God above."

And then the voice I heard before:

"I came to earth among the poor.

The broken heart I came to mend

I am He whom God did send.

To show the world He loved it so

I told my Father 'I will go.'"

"Oh Lord my God I know it's true

You really lived and suffered too.

But if the price was really paid

And if you suffered on that day

Why must I still feel such pain?

What victory does my suffering gain?"

Another voice came in reply

My Heavenly Father told me why.

He said "My son, I called you here

To feed my sheep and have no fear.

You had to know what Christ went through

I have a work for you to do.

But pride had filled your foolish heart

And you could not fulfill your part.

Your head was high, your smile proud

Your heart was hard, your laughter loud.

You loved yourself and you alone

Your brother lacked, you had a throne.

You saw him lonely, with a frown

To build yourself, you tore him down.

You laughed and mocked his lonely stare

The pain you caused you did not care.

The praise of man, your only goal

Caused you to lie, destroyed your soul.

To change your ways you had no thought

In your own eyes you had a lot.

You spent your life on useless things

You wasted all on worldly dreams.

You are my servant and my son

There is a battle to be won.

I have some sheep for you to find

They lost their way, got left behind.

They need to know what Christ went through

And so to find them I sent you.

I need your might, your mind, your strength

I need a heart that has been changed.

So one last time I'll ask again

To these lost sheep, whom shall I send?"

"Oh Lord, my God, I love thee so

To find thy sheep, I will go.

I give thee all, my very will

I am so small, I know that still.

But now I know what Christ went through

For Him, O Lord, I'll go and do."